02/02/2017 04:41 pm ET- Rumors have been flying that the relationship between President Donald Trump and his current wife, First Lady Melania Trump is crumbling.  The First Lady is staying at the Trump’s New York penthouse home while their youngest son, ten-year-old Barron Trump, finishes the school year.

During events which both the President and First Lady attended, the President has been dismissive of his wife.  Mrs. Trump, on the other hand, appears to be visibly unhappy.  At the Liberty Ball after the inauguration, the first dance with the President and First Lady appeared to be very uncomfortable.  A source close to the First Lady states, “Trump is unbearable.  He treats Melania like a slave.”

But leaks from inside the White House are telling us that Trump has secretly begun divorce proceedings from his wife of eleven years.  It appears that Donald Trump has been having a clandestine romance with Steve Bannon, whom he met during a radio talk-show appearance in 2015.  Strategist Bannon, a white supremacist, has been appointed to a seat on the White House’s most critical National Security Committee.

Unnamed sources from Trump’s legal team state that once the divorce is finalized, the couple are planning a small wedding at the Metropolitan Community Church of Palm Beaches in Florida.  The couple then will honeymoon at Trump’s Mar-A-Lago estate, where they will put their heads together and strategize future policy.


TBT, OCTOBER 27, 2016- Unconfirmed reports recently obtained from Donald Trump’s doctors indicate the Republican presidential candidate may indeed be suffering from prostate cancer.  Notably absent in the medical report Trump released during a taping of Time-Warner’s Dr. Oz show was the level of his Prostate-Specific Antigen or PSA.

The higher the PSA level is, the higher the risk for prostate cancer.  Failure to document this specific, routinely administered test may indicate his levels are too high to be disclosed.  A normal PSA for men of his advanced age is 4 nanograms per milliliter (ng/mL) of blood.  Doctors are concerned that Trump’s PSA may be as high as 9, putting him at risk for the deadly disease.

Some have speculated that during Trump’s recent visit to Mexico, he spent several hours at an alternative treatment clinic.  This visit could indicate his cancer is advanced and he is seeking therapeutic methods not available in the United States.

The prostate gland is the size and shape of a walnut and is found underneath the bladder and in front of the rectum. For more information on this deadly disease, contact the American Cancer Society.



Tents in Hobby Lobby Parking Lot


February 9, 2015

Greenville, MS- Greenville workers and customers were shocked by the appearance of work tents for menstruating women in the Hobby Lobby parking lot.  Store manager Bertram “Bubba” Lee instituted the new policy in order to afford proper “separation” for the women’s fundamentalist Christian coworkers.  According to the manager, the store is following the biblical mandate set forth in the Old Testament. “It’s in Leviticus,” Lee quoted, “And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days.”

Two large tents were set up in the parking lot near the front doors.  Inside each were two check out lanes and some bargain bins.  When asked about the legality of such segregation Lee insisted there were no complaints about the arrangements.  “We put heaters in there for them and there’s Port-A-Pottys right outside.”  Attempts to interview the female workers were thwarted by Lee as he stood at in front of the tent flaps.  “If you ain’t buyin’, you ain’t spyin’,” he said.

The Green family, owners of Hobby Lobby are well-known Pentecostal Christians from Oklahoma.  They state they close their stores every Sunday so that their employees may “go to church or spend time with family.”  Presumably this excludes Seventh Day Adventists, Jews and even Jesus himself who did’t worship on Sundays.  Last year the corporation won the famous Supreme Court case Burwell v. Hobby Lobby which granted the corporation the right of religious freedom.  This decision has been further interpreted to protect members of the Church of Latter Day Saints from testifying in a child labor case in which children were removed from school to harvest pecans on a private ranch for up to eight hours without pay.  It’s also been used by Catholic nuns to refuse to provide mandatory insurance forms because they claim it’s a burden to fill them out.

“We have freedom of religion in this country and that’s what we’re doing,” Lee explained about the tent situation.  The unusual situation didn’t seem to have an effect on the customers preparing for Valentine’s Day.  When asked if the modifications caused a reduction in revenue, the manager stated, “No matter what the political or religious situation may be, scrapbooking never stops.”

In a brief phone conversation with Hobby Lobby’s regional Human Resources department, questions about their position on providing paid menstrual leave for female employees similar to that given in Japan, South Korea and Taiwan were met with a quick disconnection of service.  Attempts to contact Hobby Lobby headquarters have gone unanswered.   


Dead sheep owned by Ray Peck in Skull Valley, 1968 Don Grayston, Deseret News

GRANTSVILLE, UT- Beaujean “Beau Peep” Peeples, a local sheep rancher, reported to police today that about one hundred of her flock were killed by aliens.  Peeples claims to have seen strange lights in the nighttime sky over her fields on April first.  While checking her stock in the area the following day, the rancher found what Tooele County Sheriff’s deputies confirm was just over one hundred sheep carcasses.  Then incident occurred about ten miles due west of the Wal-Mart distribution center in Grantsville.

The Grantsville 911 center confirrned there were several calls reporting unusual lighted objects in the sky on that night.  A sheriff’s deputy dispatched to the scene saw no lights and chalked up reports to activity at nearby Dugway Proving Ground.  The Army facility is notable for the famous “Dugway Sheep Kill” incident of 1968.  In March of that year, 6249 sheep died in Skull Valley, about thirty miles from Dugway’s testing site.  At that time Dugway was performing open-air testing on the chemical weapon VX gas.

Dugway is home to the High Resolution Fly’s Eye Cosmic Ray Detector, radio telemetry and tracking radar.  UFO conspiracy theorists consider this the site Roswell crash materials were taken after they were removed from Area 51 in Nevada.

Samples from the dead sheep were sent to Tooele County Extension Veterinarian Dr. Palmyra Fjeldsted.  Fjeldsted stated she was unable to determine the cause of death upon initial examination and that she is sending samples on to the USDA for further testing.